dealing with a pathological liar

Written by: Abbie Quinn

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Time to read 2 min

I spend a lot of my working week helping my lovely customers, assisting them in selecting lingerie, and it is one of my favourite parts of my job.


Some go on to buy, Some do not, and that's ok, but this last week I have fallen victim to what only can be explained as a pathological liar.

Where is this is not my usual kind of blog post - it upset me, so I thought I would explore this subject.


A pathological liar is a person who tells lies for no benefit or apparent reason. 


It is not like telling a white lie to avoid hurting someone's feelings or escaping trouble. A pathological liar will lie compulsively.


In my case, the person told lies to gain acceptance or sympathy, to be the hero at the end of his story. Yet there was nothing apparently to gain from his lies.

Like all Pathological liars, he was a great storyteller in lots of detail and colourful places. Unfortunately, he was also very convincing!


Pretending to be a trans-gender, who nearly killed himself over the backlash, lost his job and relationship, to the hero of the story, getting married to a stunning woman with a high-powered career, and a Mayfair address who is standing by him every step of the way!


As both the hero and the victim of his story! - His lies have been told to gain admiration, sympathy, or acceptance from me.

The question. Does this man know he is consciously lying? He may be suffering from a delusion. He may believe his lies. Hence it is hard dealing with people like this. He may not know the difference between fact and fiction.


As I said, I talk to many customers and spot the time-wasters quickly, but this man was a natural performer, eloquent and engaging, Certainly creative and quick with his answers.


That has all been highly frustrating for me because it seems pointless.

Alarm bells started to ring when he asked me to be his maid of honour, despite never meeting me and only chatting via messenger. A simple reverse search of the stunning woman he was marrying was a glamorous American actress! - A look at his Facebook profile revealed a different man from the one whose pictures I received.


I confronted him with this to get the response of more lies and a threat to take his business (what business) elsewhere.

Thinking back, he did offer to model for me, so it may have been an elaborate ruse to try and get Free lingerie off me, but luckily I did not fall for this, or I would feel more of an idiot!


I must not take this personally. I am sure it is not about me. 
He may have a mental health disorder. 
And I have let him know I no longer want to have any conversation with him. - I now move on.




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